Archive for April, 2011

Where is my Mr. Darcy?

Bollywood, Disney, and Jane Austen have given me unrealistic expectations on love and men. It’s a fact. I am still on the lookout for a tall brooding young gentleman of 40 thousand pounds a year in want of a wife who flies in on a magic carpet, turns his nose up at me in our first meeting and says dancing is for savages.

If love was really a three hour rollercoaster ride in which I could sing 5 songs, give long soliloquies to about love and life, listen to my hero liken my eyes to the moon or the sun or the stars and cry out distressfully while my hero fought 10 men with his bare hands then I would definitely pick that over reality. Because in reality, love isn’t over in three hours… In reality, love is just a big fat long agonising wait. 

Why don’t films show the long wait women have to endure while a man makes up his mind to call, why don’t they show the extremely stupid things women do and say? Bridget Jones’s diary was the only movie “brave” enough to expose the fragile desperation that makes women act immaturely and kiss many a frog before one transformed into their true love.

Bollywood is responsible for making me anticipate meeting the guy of my dreams when I board a plane or train. Bollywood is responsible for making me think that a man can be rude and endearing at the same time (in reality they are just plain rude, nothing endearing about arrogance). Bollywood is responsible for making hope a man can have eyes for no one but me.

Disney is responsible for making me think women can make boys into better men. Jasmine changes Aladdin for the better, Pocahontas wooed John into becoming the saviour of her people – so what is stopping women from falling for the ‘bad boys’ and expecting that they will magically transform into men you can proudly present to your parents (be they the Sultan or the chief?)

Jane Austen is responsible for the dreams of millions of women around the world. For making aloof desirable, and arrogance endearing. Her heroes are no pink shirt wearing, skinny jean flaunting, man-bag toting SNAGs. No – Jane Austen’s heros are men of integrity and courage with deeply buried passionate empathy and a wicked yet sweet sense of romance.

Sigh. Who am I kidding? I love the airy fairy dreams Bollywood Disney and Austen have created and sustained over the years. I love the warm gooey melting chocolate feeling the endings give me and I love swooning over the handsome yet sweet and sensitive heroes. Another Bollywood romance? Bring it on!

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Family Values

I opened up the SMH website this morning and was immediately faced with several articles that made me wonder at the deplorable state of our social and familial values in this day and age. Five years ago I do not recall opening up the paper and reading things like, Lane dumped baby in bushland: taxi driver and Sydney teen pulls gun on father: police.

What is going on? What are we doing so wrong as a society that our moral fabric is disintegrating and family values are just hollow words? Why is it that the more technologically savvy and knowledgeable and empowered we become the less humane we are?

I have read countless articles on murder, violence, harassment and abuse taking place within the family sphere at an alarmingly increasing rate. Fathers abusing daughters, mothers abandoning their child, children lashing out at their parents in the most horrific of ways.

How could we have come this far? Even the Neanderthals we parody with our superiors airs in television shows would hang their heads for shame at the wilful arrogant and uncaring attitude families have towards each other.

I know the Black Eyed Peas have deteriorated into a gyrating techno babble mess lately but the lyrics of the song “Where is the love” really resonates with me

Selfishness got us following the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we’re spreading animosity 

The state of the world we are in today is the sum effect of individual families losing their cohesiveness. And the question on everyone’s lips should be – where is the love? Why are mothers dumping their babies when throughout history we have heard stories and testimonials of a mothers love for a child being the greatest love humanely possible?

Why are fathers who are supposed to be the caregivers and protectors instigating violence and inflicting abuse on their loved ones? Is this the reason why children have lost respect for their parents? Is this the reason why children rebel and maim their parents with physical aggression?

Nuclear families are called nuclear for a reason. There should be cohesion, love, trust and mutual respect. Whatever happened to humanity and equality? Why are we spreading animosity and deceit? Why are parents ingraining it into their children in the family environment so that these same children go out and disseminate it into the world?

So many questions… what is the answer? What is the solution to the depravity of the human condition? Love. Trust and Mutual Respect. It doesn’t matter how technologically savvy and equipped you are, it doesn’t matter how many iphones ipads and parenphelia makes you feel like you have a wholesome and successful life. If you cannot come home to a family that loves and respects you, where there is mutual trust and understanding, where children obey their parents and parents in turn love and guide their children, then this is the microcosm of the society they will breed. And that is a heartless society indeed.

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